Since I can't get my act together and write a decent blog post lately...
I give you...
our Friday afternoon.
Should be good for a laugh.
Because I certainly did.
I am a wimp.
I am afraid of my own shadow.
And ridiculous stuff happens to me.
I'm also a wimp who drives a ginormous SUV.
Where else I am going to stuff all those kids and thrift store furniture??
Said ginormous SUV has all the unnecessary bells and whistles to keep us safe and comfy thanks to my rockin' husband.
But I am still a wimp.
So this is a story filled with first world problems.
Pick up the boys from school.
Cruise over to the bank.
Think to myself, hey, everyone's behaving nicely in the backseat and I've got a lot to do this afternoon...let's go grab McD's Diet Coke and get some caffeine pumping through my veins.
To McDonald's drive thru we go.
Mmmm $1 Diet Coke and still three children behaving nicely in the backseat.
Great song on the radio.
...and then ginormous SUV with all the unnecessary bells and whistles starts dinging and flashing dashboard warning lights in the shape of a tire telling me that my pressure is low.
And with each block that I drive the little orange tire pressure number keeps dropping.
My mind raced to all the things I learned in driver's ed.
All the things about car care my dad taught me.
Everything my husband ever told me about auto emergencies.
I pulled over on a quiet little street a few minutes from our house.
Thought over all of that advice.
Like a little baby.
Certain that I would be murdered on the side of the road.
And my children would be kidnapped.
At the very least we would be carjacked.
FIVE MINUTES FROM OUR HOME.
Go ahead and laugh. I deserve it.
Naturally I called my husband in a panic.
And Mr. Calm Cool and Collected reminded me that aforementioned ginormous SUV with all the unnecessary bells and whistles has all the unnecessary bells and whistles, so just push the little blue button and roadside assistance will come along and change the tire.
So I push the little blue button and magical On Star Lady on the other end promises to have a truck out soon. Less an hour. Sweet.
Boys watching a movie on one of the unnecessary bells and whistles.
Me updating my facebook status about my flat tire.
Heat pumping out a perfect 75 degrees.
Five minutes from home.
First world problems.
Fast forward an hour.
Still no Tow Truck Guy.
I call On Star Lady back.
Hmmm....that's funny...Tow Truck Guy was dispatched 45 minutes ago...
We'll just go ahead and send somebody else.
Another 45 minutes goes by.
My paranoia returns.
Every car that drives by looks a little more murder-y than the last.
I knew I'd seen a Dateline special like this.
STILL FIVE MINUTES AWAY FROM OUR HOME.
Along comes Tow Truck Guy William to save me.
We're going to get this show on the road and be home in no time.
Tow Truck Guy William gets my information.
Writes down my VIN number. Gets my plates.
Ready to go.
Tire changing time.
Then Tow Truck Guy William asks me how to get to my jack and spare tire.
I'm not joking.
I think it's somewhere around the trunk...
Tow Truck Guy William asks if I have the manual for him to look it up.
Tow Truck Guy William guesses that he'll probably have to take out all of the carseats and the third row bench to get to the tire underneath.
I tell Tow Truck Guy William that before we start taking pieces out of the car I'll see if the manual is available online and then he could read it from my phone.
Tow Truck Guy William's reaction: Wow! You can get the internet on your phone?!?!?!
Still not joking.
While Tow Truck Guy William is out back scratching his head over where the spare tire may be hiding, I call On Star Lady back.
Great news! Another truck is available. Sending him over right now!
Tow Truck Guy #3 arrives a few minutes after that.
Tow Truck Guy William isn't too happy about it.
Tow Truck Guy William and Tow Truck Guy #3 start arguing over who is going to change the tire.
Still not joking.
I can't hear the actual arguing from inside, but Tow Truck Guy William apparently loses.
He throws some tool on the ground and drives away.
Tow Truck Guy #3 gets to work.
New tire on the car lickety split and we're on our way home.
And that, my friends, is how we spent our Friday afternoon.
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